Grief

Grief            

What is it? What does it look like?

There is an ongoing lie that many people believe about grief: that it’s only relevant when someone dies.

Yes, grief happens when someone dies; loss has happened.

But what about other areas of life where there has been loss?

What about in your life? Have you lost anything? A job? A house? Have you gone through a break up? Did you lose your innocence? Did you move away from home?

In all of these examples there has been some sort of loss, and when there is loss grieving is necessary.

Grief is the necessary catalyst for healing to manifest so we can move forward from our losses.

If we don’t face what loss has happened and allow ourselves to feel what we need to about it we will become shell-like people who don’t feel anything.

I’ve had to fight this in my life the past few years. I was so blind to my need for grief that I couldn’t even pinpoint areas in my life that needed grieving. When I was asked what I had grieved lately I couldn’t think of anything; and when I was asked what I thought I needed to grieve I still couldn’t think of anything.   In actuality I had gone through loss in my life and didn’t recognize it. I moved away from home, I quit my job, I broke up with someone, and never once thought that I needed to grieve any of it. No one died so why be sad? But once I started looking at these events in my life through the lens of needing to grieve them, that’s when freedom, healing and restoration started to come.

The amount of joy that you experience in life is directly correlated to the amount of pain you allow yourself to feel, and you can bet God brings beautiful things out of it.

I’m not saying that you have to spend weeks weeping over the fact that you’ve moved away from home and are now on your own, but do allow yourself to come to terms with whatever loss you’ve experienced.

Cry if you need to, yell if you need to, journal, paint, talk, read, pray. It is a process and is going to look completely different for each and every person so embrace it. Allow yourself the time to be in tune with your emotions and feel what you need to feel. You’ll be surprised at the joy, freedom and healing that comes.